Is Dis Sum Japans?

We all know that Japanese people fucking love noodles, but did you know they also love fucking noodles?

Hajimemashte, Cup Nude! You look very much like instant food favourite Cup Noodle, but cost around seven bucks! Here's why...

Cup Nude is an "adult toy" purchased in a naughty book shop in Akihabara, where apparently prominent and respectable politicians are prone to making speeches these days.

The peel off lid really throws down the gauntlet. The label, in first-person prose, extols the virtues of this "Onna Hole" and challenges the user to last more than 3 minutes when using it (which, by an amazing coincidence, is about the same time it takes to prepare a hot, steaming...oh, forget it). Also, don't put it in the microwave or "use it too much" you wild beast!

The satisfying sensations come from noodle-like tentacles inside the cup. Apparently, it feels "like thousands of worms"! Yum! I mean...gross!

Sweet dreams are made of these: a pink lump with fake shrimp bits...

Don't forget the "flavor packet", full of soothing "Gently Acid lotion."

Who hasn't enjoyed the instant gratification of a delicious Cup Nude? Just add a little hot water and go from hungry to happy in record time. It's the portable, hot meal that's ideal for camping, a quick lunch at your desk, or serving up as an easy after school snack.